Huge hugs OP. I really feel for you. I know just what you are going through. I was pregnant 4 times in 2009 and thankfully the last time was sticky and we ended up with our beautiful ds in 2010. At the time we didn't tell anyone about what we were going through. Every time a friend was announcing their pregnancy it was like a stab in my heart especially the friends who had their babies around the same time ours were due. Now I am going through a different kind of pain as those friends are announcing their 2nd pregnancies and my dh has decided that he doesn't want another baby I'm not coping well at all with it. It's hard but remember you are not alone. I hope you get to feel another buba growing inside you again.
*hugs* I can empathize and that was just from TTC. I am so thankful at I have never had to also deal with the pain of a miscarriage. I have a friend who is now 3 days overdue and all through the pregnancy all I heard was complaints about how fat she was getting and how uncomfortable it was and how annoying it was when the baby kicked etc. Took all my energy not to scream at her to just be thankful because I would have given anything to be 'fat and uncomfortable'.
I would suggest giving yourself a little distance or even straight out saying (providing she's not the kind of person that is easily offended) that it's too hard for you to hear the complaints right now.
It's great you have other ppl to talk to Hun, and once my girls are better maybe we can organise an out north lunch, kid friendly with a bottle of bubbles for us all (adults obviously) to share... MIL has suggested a bottle that was actually quite nice.
Here if you ever need a vent, you have my number but otherwise utilize those who do know and who you trust to be kind.
BOO to your sister, your feelings will always change she should think before she speaks
Sent from my iPhone, more than likely while I should be doing something else!
Your sister sounds like a "get on with it" sort of person, which is good normally, but unfortunately emotions don't work on that same path.
People often expect you to get over it though. And quickly. Which is why this is such a private pain. People don't know how to react or respond sometimes - some are sensational, while others wish that you'd never told them because they don't know how to deal with it.
It's okay that you're feeling like this, just remember that. If you're anything like me, you probably feel like you're being silly or overly emotional. So what? It doesn't just go away at the flick of a switch. The pain rears it's head when you least expect it, and then there's occasions where you brace yourself for it and it never actually arrives.
Thank you everyone. I really appreciate the support.
I'm feeling better about things. I've bought myself a BBT and I'm going to start temping and charting in an attempt to take back some of the control... I hate that it feels so much like it is out of my control, it is really affecting me this time...
One thing i made a very big point of doing after losing a baby at 19wks, was to never complain about anything during my pregnancies again. I appreciated every bit of it.
Like you, it upset me to hear pregnant women complain about their pregnancies, it still does.
Appreciate it, savour every second of it.
I totally understand why you feel the way you do xxx
It's so hard. I know. Sometimes people mistake silence for 'being over it'. When really you feel just as raw as the day it happened. Then there's the insensitive comments......... and the complainers.
I'm really glad you've got some people IRL to talk to though, turn to them when things get rough. And us of course.
I remember feeling exactly the same way last year. One friend was particularly full on in her pregnancy whinging. I used to get all worked up inside, not just because of my own loss, but also because I know of so many gorgeous girls on here who would be so happy to have these complaints! Now she complains about missing being pregnant
It's hard and to be honest I think many of us had no idea either before it happened to us. Take some time away from the pregnant friends that's what I had to do. Hugs x
I have screamed in rage and plotted the murders of many whinging pregnant workmates ( in my head of course ) while TTC unsuccessfully time and time again and although a loss and infertility are two very different things the feelings towards ungrateful pg ppl seems to be the same when all you want is to be pregnant yourself.
So my point is vent and rage away, I'll listen and offer a shoulder
Huge hugs OP. I really feel for you. I know just what you are going through. I was pregnant 4 times in 2009 and thankfully the last time was sticky and we ended up with our beautiful ds in 2010. At the time we didn't tell anyone about what we were going through. Every time a friend was announcing their pregnancy it was like a stab in my heart especially the friends who had their babies around the same time ours were due. Now I am going through a different kind of pain as those friends are announcing their 2nd pregnancies and my dh has decided that he doesn't want another baby
I'm not coping well at all with it. It's hard but remember you are not alone. I hope you get to feel another buba growing inside you again.
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